I'm a criminal

Its been shit week so far.
Today I found out that people at work didn’t really want me to go with them on Saturday, but it was more of a situation they couldn’t get out of.
Today they organised bowling on Friday and it was awkward because I was sat with them when they were sorting it out, they didn’t ask me of course, they couldn’t look at me.
It’s like being back at my second school…they said things would get better as I got older and that this kind of stuff didn’t happen. …hmm
You hear people talking about having a lonely childhood, but for me its more of a lonely adulthood.
I’ve got such a bad feeling inside of me right now, I just can’t socialise and I have no connection with people.