Have a nice life

“The best way I can describe it is that usually with women I am 2-D, but with Sonya I am 3-D. That’s what was never there with Sally. But alas Sonya has a boyfriend, but I’m left hoping and praying that me and Sonya can become good friends.”

I’d searched through the archives of my blog to find something I said about Sonya that summed up how I felt towards her. The above comment is from sometime in January.
Sonya left work today for good. Never to return. I have said things about Sonya in this blog out of frustration for me not thinking we were close.
I always wanted more. I’m not talking about a sexual thing here, I wanted us not to be just friends…but best friends. But you can’t force something like that. I remember days when I would go in and consciously make an effort to make Sonya laugh, I would always fail of course and then when I just relaxed and stop putting so much pressure on us…every thing just flowed naturally.
I received an e-mail from her about half way through my shift and I looked upon on it as the last thing I’d receive from her. However, at the end of our shifts, she had made special cards for me, Liam and Yvonne. The cards contained a personalised message and were extremely heart warming. Unfortunately there was no doubt about it, this was a goodbye card.
I regret so much about my time with Sonya. I hate how I tried so hard and I hate how frustrated I got with her. Even right up until the moment she left I was still awkward…I could never just relax.
And it is all linked to one of my earliest hopes regarding her.
“I’m left hoping and praying that me and Sonya can become good friends.”
In the end that’s all I wanted. I wanted a friend for life. I don’t say that about a lot of the people I know but I can say it about her. Too often in life we have to put up with people we don’t really connect with or people we don’t really feel that good with.
One thing has been bugging the hell out of me. The seating arrangement we had. For some reason they decided to plonk some new woman in my place to sit opposite Sonya and besides Liam. So for the last month or so I had a lot less contact than normal with Sonya because I had to sit at the other end of our area.
I’m not saying that if I had been sat opposite Sonya that her leaving card would have been a “see you later card” instead of a “goodbye card” but it just irritates, and ultimately, hurts me that we couldn’t sit next to each other for her last month.
Me, Yvonne, Sonya and Liam were all working a mundane job. But when it was the four of us…it seemed like the best job in the world.
I am really going to miss Sonya.