Handshake with the devil

The days are fine.
My situation could be considered acceptable but ultimately I don’t feel as though this is a real life. How are we half way through the year? I have a responsibility to my being to get the most out of life and I hate that little phrase “get the most out of life”, it is riddled with pressure and consequence of not doing so. These last few days and weeks have been terrible. Since I finished my exams I expected a shift in my life.
I don’t know if I can face going back to college in September. Walking down those grey halls staring at art students horrendous montages. I’m sick of people at college with the massive ego’s. They think they are fucking marvellous when in reality they are nothing.
So I’m not sure about going back but what else would I do? I may give up on any writing ambition as I have no ideas, no drive and no passion. I wasn’t going to send numerous articles off to my local paper but I sat in front of my computer trying to initiate a piece and there was nothing. Nothing. Ya know when I’ve been the happiest in the last 2 months? When I’ve sat with Sonya and Liam at work and we just laugh all afternoon. I’ve enjoyed that more than going out.
Sonya leaves in 15 days time with unlimited possibilities. She has her faith and her boyfriend and is ready for whatever may be tossed her way.
I just feel dead. When I was at the house party on Saturday and I was watching all these drunk sods I realized just how dull and crap life really is.