Woop de Woop

I seem to reach a brick wall every now and then where I get really depressed but then after a really bad day I suddenly feel OK again.
And its because decisions are made for myself that need to be made.
What has been happening recently is this guy from Holland came over and he and Nina have a complicated relationship. Work has also been quite testing and college, well, that has been a joke these last few weeks.
I always fret about a career from time to time. I don’t feel as though I’m doing enough to get one.
This guy from Holland has created tons of problems since he came over. He wants to occupy Nina’s time…all the time and she feel responsible for him while he is over.
He’s been accused of forcing himself upon one of Nina’s roommates and he got into a fight with a neighbour when he kicked their car.
So I haven’t felt like I’ve had a girlfriend for a bit again and I slipped into some old habits.
Habits like staying in my room all the time and watching films I haven’t seen for ages. Habits like playing computer games way too fucking much. Habits like going to bed really late and getting up really late.
All this coincided with a week off work so I was able to indulge in all these activities, or lack of.
Then came Christmas. Nina had said her goodbyes to Dutch bloke but I hadn’t seen her for about 4 days and we only texted each other once. I even went as far as to leave my phone on charge for a full day.
I didn’t feel like dealing with “out there”.
I had gone out Christmas eve with some contacts who I wouldn’t regard as friends but I thought I better push myself to get out of the house. I invited Nina to join me but she declined saying she had to rush over to her sisters to prepare for Christmas day.
I got a bit merry while I was out and was ready for a good night. We moved onto a nightclub and I ran into a mate from work and some girls she was out with. We had a few laughs but I got a real sinking feeling about at about 12:00, I suddenly felt sobered up.
I didn’t want to leave though. So I just sat down and ended up talking to random people foir a couple of hours.
It was quite surreal because this club seemed totally different to whenever I had been in before. I felt really depressed at this point and I couldn’t quite figure out why I felt that bad.
I jumped in a taxi and came home.
So Christmas day arrived and I was a grouch all day. My Grandad came over and I had to really try just to make conversation with the bloke.
I texted Louis at lunchtime to see what he was up to and if he wanted to get a drink boxing day.
Apparently he’s now seeing some girl in York. His attitude was ‘off’.
I said to hime “Do you wanna go out new years eve?”
But he said he was hookin’ up with this girl and that we were “getting older”
Nice.

I wasn’t aware of that before. Why did he say that!? I don’t understand what point he was trying to make. Now because he has a bird our friendship is reduced to some kind of child’s play?
Well whatever dude.
Then I got a text at 1 in the morning while I was listening to some downer songs.
“We need to talk xxx”
And that was from Louis…no just kiddin…it was from Nina.
So I obsessed about that all night.
And felt like shit.
I finally went to sleep but when I woke up I felt fantastic.
My mood was so high I went for a walk…a walk!
And I realised that the problems I had were not infact problems at all.
Nina had gone through a nightmare time with this guy from Holland and I was there being all whiny and depressing.
Luckily I’d bought a very expensive piece of jewellery for her a couple weeks back which I was holding onto until the new year.
I rang her at dinnertime and we went out for the day and I surprised her with the gift. I was very charming and made her laugh all day long. I asked her what it was she needed to speak about and she told me “Oh it’s just I left my !pod over at your house.”
Ah right, I’m not sure if she was being honest there but who cares.