Granted

I only ever had one relationship before Nina.
Her name was Nicole.
It was around the time of my second spell at college. We were both complete outsiders there and we used to spend all day just hanging about.
She was the type of person who got herself into difficult situations very easily. She fell out with at least half of the other people on our course. No-body ever took the time to get to know her.
We naturally gravitated towards each other but it took time for me to crack her open.
I usually don’t allow myself to think about her. There were times when I wanted to do entries in here about her but I wouldn’t let myself..
The course was coming to an end for both of us and problems were arising. My parents didn’t like her, my friends didn’t like her…it seemed like I was the only person who did.
It was such an odd relationship. We used to go to the park in the mornings and spend our time just walking about. She hated Ben aswell.
Both of us used to wear what many would consider shit clothes. I would always wear a tatty old cap and she would be wearing a variety of different flannel type shirt things.
We seemed to operate outside of society. Both of us refused to get a job or study at all.
We eventually called it off. I wanted to get on with things and she couldn’t understand it. She had a lot of problems. Towards the end she would tell me about how she’d been drinking all night in her room. She had no friends and lived with her dad who worked all the time.
I don’t know the exact point it ended but I worried about her. She was in a dark place and there was nothing about her that suggested she would change.
Today though I was contacted by her. I was eating my Sunday lunch and she called my house. I told her I would call her later on my mobile which I did.
Turns out she’s leaving the country on Friday and she wanted to let me know. We hadn’t spoke in ages but apparently I was “never too far away in her thoughts”. She’s going to live with a new boyfriend in Spain. I was very relieved that things were going well for her.
After the catch up part of our conversation we really talked. It came back to me just how much this girl and I had connected through our social inadequateness. She was happy for me too. We laughed about all the good times we had together…and there were plenty of good times, simple things like just taking a walk together.
Me and her were on the same side of the coin. Two dysfunctional people who found it difficult to just get by.
But life gave us the great gift of each other.
We promised to stay in touch this time by e-mail, phone etc.
I feel that now me and Nicole have talked again I can finally let my memory of that time exist again. Until now I had buried it and treated it asif it never happened.