In bloom

I got my arse kicked at football.
Literally. Kicked and hustled all over the pitch. At the end I just slumped into a heap. Nina came over and helped me up.
She’d also brought me a jam tart :D
I was up on my feet immediately.
Nina’s confidence is an amazing thing to watch.
I was never really attracted to shy girls….I didn’t want the female version of myself.
But I watch and listen as she interacts with someone new and see someone not afraid to say whatever she feels. I wish I was like that. But then I on the same side I can see the vulnerability and the pessimism she has with new people.
Whereas I’m not like that. I want to give my trust to people but I can see Nina edging her bets about who she lets in.
It sounds weird but I kind of like that. I like the vulnerability she has and I feel like I’m impressing her when I just do something nice.
God she’s been hurt so many times. I’ve heard stories about best friends and ex-boyfriends and her rommie Martin told me “…for whatever reason, she just has a target on her head and people take advantage.”
We all have certain things about us the people pick up on.
This guy I’m working with now, he’s constantly getting little digs at me and quite frankly he doesn’t show me any respect.
My natural technique to dealing with this has always been to just ignore them or spend as little time with them as possible.
I don’t do confrontation.
I’m like Kurt Cobain in that way.