Take a picture of my rear so you won’t forget my ass
Take a picture of my rear so you won’t forget my ass
I’m not looking forward to anything. It was an odd feeling as I walked home from work, I had the usual sense of relief but then I thought about why I was relieved to get out of work and there was no answer other than “I wouldn’t have to take a call”
I’m failing to see what to get motivated about. I can sense maybe I should see somebody about this because I’ve never felt this way. Even when things have been completely shitty, there has always been some light in the distance…something to keep going for. I don’t even feel down however, that’s what’s odd.
All I know is I’m sitting here and there is noting to motivate me or get me excited. I could stare blankly at the wall for the next 3 hours. It seems all I do now is just rush off so I can listen to music.
A couple of years ago even though I didn’t do anything for a year, me and ben thought we would be big time script writers….sitting in L.A now drinking champagne. As daft and unrealistic as it was, that’s what kept us going through all the bullshit. We truly felt that we would be partners in crime and that we would be the next big things, I haven’t talked to him now for a year and a half…
I’d say the majority of this year has been pretty awful, the isolation I have felt has been overwhelming. The real exclamation point was my Grans death. I was slowly starting to find my feet after a crap summer and then Bam! But I can’t be that selfish about it, it was worse for my mum and grandad.
Writing offered a glimmer of promise, my teacher saying that she could see me as a journalist was very confidence boosting, also getting a poem published was pretty cool.
Ya know what would wash away the doubt and fears? A girlfriend, someone to be intimate with. Someone who I could share experiences with. To quote LL cool J’s I need love “Girl if your out there, make yourself seen” or something like that anyway.
Hmm well what do ya know…I am down after all.
I’m not looking forward to anything. It was an odd feeling as I walked home from work, I had the usual sense of relief but then I thought about why I was relieved to get out of work and there was no answer other than “I wouldn’t have to take a call”
I’m failing to see what to get motivated about. I can sense maybe I should see somebody about this because I’ve never felt this way. Even when things have been completely shitty, there has always been some light in the distance…something to keep going for. I don’t even feel down however, that’s what’s odd.
All I know is I’m sitting here and there is noting to motivate me or get me excited. I could stare blankly at the wall for the next 3 hours. It seems all I do now is just rush off so I can listen to music.
A couple of years ago even though I didn’t do anything for a year, me and ben thought we would be big time script writers….sitting in L.A now drinking champagne. As daft and unrealistic as it was, that’s what kept us going through all the bullshit. We truly felt that we would be partners in crime and that we would be the next big things, I haven’t talked to him now for a year and a half…
I’d say the majority of this year has been pretty awful, the isolation I have felt has been overwhelming. The real exclamation point was my Grans death. I was slowly starting to find my feet after a crap summer and then Bam! But I can’t be that selfish about it, it was worse for my mum and grandad.
Writing offered a glimmer of promise, my teacher saying that she could see me as a journalist was very confidence boosting, also getting a poem published was pretty cool.
Ya know what would wash away the doubt and fears? A girlfriend, someone to be intimate with. Someone who I could share experiences with. To quote LL cool J’s I need love “Girl if your out there, make yourself seen” or something like that anyway.
Hmm well what do ya know…I am down after all.
posted by A.Lee at 1:35 PM
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