Hello there. Odd day isn't it?

This entry is pretty scary for me to write. A corny line I’m going to use ‘there comes a time when…
It’s hard to admit fault on your own behalf when you have blamed something else for so long. Since I left my second school I have blamed that for all my shortcomings as a person. Its easy for me to stay in my room and shy away from everything “its not my fault I’m in this situation, its everyone else’s fault!”
I was sat on the toilet (charming thought) and I realised I had no-one to call if I wanted to blow off steam. A wave of depression drenched me. I flushed the toilet and hobbled back to my room. The usual suspects sprang to mind. The whining and the moaning.
“it’s a hard knock life”
I got some junk food, went back to my room and switched on my PS2...ready to waste away this evening. But then I switched on my PC and went to my must read page of the day (Daves web-blog). It hadn’t been updated so I moved onto the next website…BBC’s homepage. And there it was, staring at me…almost condemning me.
It simply read: 2005
Is it 2005 already, I pondered. I’m afraid it is. Time to start taking chances, I’m not talking about climbing mount Everest, I’m talking about taking chances with people. Run the risk of embarrassment. I feel as though my soul can’t take another second of hiding.
I immediately did some exercise and started cracking on with college work. I hadn’t been that pro-active in months…
The difference between this self promise and others is that I have had in the back of my mind “I don’t need to do it today….time is on my side”, now though….time is not on my side…and that’s the crushing difference. That’s what is scary to admit, I always felt I would get things right at a later, unannounced date. But now I have reached a date where my body wants a change, I feel uncomfortable thinking about running away again.
So there it is….Alex Lee: Changing