S.O.S
Ya know I wish mum & dad understood my point of view a bit more.
Last night I talked about how an urge to leave the city had grown inside of me. All I got was:
“Change your job”
IT’S NOT ABOUT MY FUCKING JOB
Stop saying that for fuck sake. My mum would hate for me to leave, the problem is, that is only for her benefit….not for mine.
Does she think I’m always going to stay in this house with them?
I also suggested that we could get in touch with the rest of the family more often. This was greeted by “Ah well I don’t know about that”. I’m getting fed up of that attitude. My mum and dad came from massive families, so they don’t understand where I am coming from. I’m sick of it always being so quiet in this house and I’m sick of the rigid routines. Quite frankly, I’m sick of living here. Don’t get me wrong, I get on with ma and pa very well….but has the time come where I need another scenario to work with?
I’m also sick of my mums attitude towards Tina. She seems to have this massive resentment for her without any valid reason.
She just doesn’t understand what I need right no and she isn’t helping. She says that to move away you need a good job….does that mean no-one ever risks a move unless they have the security of a “good job”.
The likelihood of me getting away is practically non anyway. I don’t know anyone here to move away with. Even my massive desire and hope that Tina would invite me to stay at hers is nothing more than a fantasy, but at this point the most realistic way of me getting out.
“But why don’t you move somewhere on you own”
Because that is not what it is supposed to be about, I’m always alone here. I want to move where people exist all the time. I want to move where I can spend all Friday night talking to someone in the living room. I want to come down stairs on a Sunday morning and have someone to talk to other than mum and dad.
I felt similar to this after I went on a holiday to Scotland with family. My mum and dad wouldn’t go because apparently they hate the company of people. So I went alone. I was about 14 and it was a magnificent holiday, probably my favourite ever. It was good to be around people who wanted to be socially active.
One of the reasons I’m socially stunted is because of my mum and dads attitude. They never went out when I was young.
I’m praying every night that Tina and Tom get in contact with me and sort something out. ‘Cos I don’t know how much longer I can put up with current surroundings.
I walked up to the newsagents to get a paper for my mum and I looked around the deprived streets and houses and thought “I am missing out on so much”.
I’ve wanted and wished for so many things to happen in the last year. For Sally to be interested in me, for Sonya and I to be close and all these other things. But never have a I needed something like I have now. I am on my knees begging.
Last night I talked about how an urge to leave the city had grown inside of me. All I got was:
“Change your job”
IT’S NOT ABOUT MY FUCKING JOB
Stop saying that for fuck sake. My mum would hate for me to leave, the problem is, that is only for her benefit….not for mine.
Does she think I’m always going to stay in this house with them?
I also suggested that we could get in touch with the rest of the family more often. This was greeted by “Ah well I don’t know about that”. I’m getting fed up of that attitude. My mum and dad came from massive families, so they don’t understand where I am coming from. I’m sick of it always being so quiet in this house and I’m sick of the rigid routines. Quite frankly, I’m sick of living here. Don’t get me wrong, I get on with ma and pa very well….but has the time come where I need another scenario to work with?
I’m also sick of my mums attitude towards Tina. She seems to have this massive resentment for her without any valid reason.
She just doesn’t understand what I need right no and she isn’t helping. She says that to move away you need a good job….does that mean no-one ever risks a move unless they have the security of a “good job”.
The likelihood of me getting away is practically non anyway. I don’t know anyone here to move away with. Even my massive desire and hope that Tina would invite me to stay at hers is nothing more than a fantasy, but at this point the most realistic way of me getting out.
“But why don’t you move somewhere on you own”
Because that is not what it is supposed to be about, I’m always alone here. I want to move where people exist all the time. I want to move where I can spend all Friday night talking to someone in the living room. I want to come down stairs on a Sunday morning and have someone to talk to other than mum and dad.
I felt similar to this after I went on a holiday to Scotland with family. My mum and dad wouldn’t go because apparently they hate the company of people. So I went alone. I was about 14 and it was a magnificent holiday, probably my favourite ever. It was good to be around people who wanted to be socially active.
One of the reasons I’m socially stunted is because of my mum and dads attitude. They never went out when I was young.
I’m praying every night that Tina and Tom get in contact with me and sort something out. ‘Cos I don’t know how much longer I can put up with current surroundings.
I walked up to the newsagents to get a paper for my mum and I looked around the deprived streets and houses and thought “I am missing out on so much”.
I’ve wanted and wished for so many things to happen in the last year. For Sally to be interested in me, for Sonya and I to be close and all these other things. But never have a I needed something like I have now. I am on my knees begging.
posted by A.Lee at 6:59 AM
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