Keep the conviction
There are a lot of ways to look at life. Past experiences have bred mistrust into my analysis.
But It’s pointless at the end of the day. Today was very hard at work and I came home feeling like shit. Once I relaxed and unwound my mood started to pick up and then it hit me just how fortunate I am to be able to go home and really get away from ‘out there’…and it’s nothing to do with being a recluse or anything like that, it’s just nice to be able to put on music that I like, watch TV and just generally relax.
It’s easy to fear the world outside and it is also easy to forget just what we do have going for us. I admit that I would like my personal situation to improve but compared to where I was few months ago…there is a vast difference.
I went into work today with a frown on my face, preparing myself for a crap day…and that’s just what I got.
For my 20th year on earth I want to try a more upbeat approach. There are times when I will be way down but as long as I keep dragging myself up then that’s all that matters.
I look at how things came together with Nina. For the period where we were getting closer I was going though a period of time when I was making very positive interactions with people. Although blogs of that time may suggest otherwise…when I got out there…I was on.
The last couple of weeks however have weighed me down and I’m not being true anymore. I’m either faking niceties or just completely blanking people. Neither is good.
The bottom line is: If I do go everywhere with a frown then I really will have nobody, but if I am enthusiastic about people...maybe someday I will.
Now which do I choose?
There isn’t an option really is there?
But It’s pointless at the end of the day. Today was very hard at work and I came home feeling like shit. Once I relaxed and unwound my mood started to pick up and then it hit me just how fortunate I am to be able to go home and really get away from ‘out there’…and it’s nothing to do with being a recluse or anything like that, it’s just nice to be able to put on music that I like, watch TV and just generally relax.
It’s easy to fear the world outside and it is also easy to forget just what we do have going for us. I admit that I would like my personal situation to improve but compared to where I was few months ago…there is a vast difference.
I went into work today with a frown on my face, preparing myself for a crap day…and that’s just what I got.
For my 20th year on earth I want to try a more upbeat approach. There are times when I will be way down but as long as I keep dragging myself up then that’s all that matters.
I look at how things came together with Nina. For the period where we were getting closer I was going though a period of time when I was making very positive interactions with people. Although blogs of that time may suggest otherwise…when I got out there…I was on.
The last couple of weeks however have weighed me down and I’m not being true anymore. I’m either faking niceties or just completely blanking people. Neither is good.
The bottom line is: If I do go everywhere with a frown then I really will have nobody, but if I am enthusiastic about people...maybe someday I will.
Now which do I choose?
There isn’t an option really is there?
posted by A.Lee at 12:55 PM
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