Just for show
I should have gone with them last night but I let the my insecurities get the better of me. I knew I’d made the wrong choice this morning.
What is disappointing is the fact that I hadn’t avoided going anywhere like this since the turn of the year. Last year (as you may have read) I didn’t go out at all. That had all changed this year but last night I gave a cameo of my old self. I regret it but I have to move on. It is now my responsibility to get something else organised.
I heard a very interesting preaching this morning. It talked about letting go of doubt and fears.
Last night I had doubts and fears. The worst part was that I knew all the people I was going with and I had just enjoyed their company a few days earlier. I’m disappointed in my actions but it serves as a reminder to how I was last year and most importantly how I don’t want to be again.
I’ve been looking upon this September as something to fear. Not knowing what courses to attend for the most part and having no idea where to go. While it is easy to panic, I must remember that I’ve never been more free in my life than I am now. No controlling friends, no school and no parental hassle. I have complained about my parents numerous times in this blog but when I look at the full picture they never get in the way. My mum always looks at the security side of a situation but always understands if I do something different. I don’t get hassled about working more hours, I don’t get hassled about college and I don’t get hassled about what time I turn up in the mornings. Since I turned 18 they have been less authority figures and have become more like two friends…which is awesome.
I’m prone to looking back at my life. Filled with nostalgia about summer days , filled with angst about school days. But as I heard the preacher say “But whatever it was, how ever long ago it was…..it’s over, it’s gone.”
Sometimes you need to hear those words in a different forum.
So I stayed in last night and watched the Amir Khan fight. I was impressed by both his in-ring abilities and how he presented himself outside the ring. At the end he paraded a Union Jack flag with London sprawled across the middle. This kid is a Muslim in the north of England ….he could do wonders for race relations. I’ve heard a lot of stupid and, quite frankly, racist comments regarding the Muslim faith since the bombings. I advise these people to read the Qur'an fully before lumping all Muslims in the same bracket as the lunatics who commit these acts.
Leeds United are on tour in Norway at moment. They’ve signed a couple of crap players and I’m not hopeful for the upcoming season. I can’t believe this is the same club that singed Rio Ferdinand, Robbie Fowler and Olly Dacourt just a few short years ago.
Football is a bastard. It is unforgiving, temperamental, disloyal, depressing, shady and should come with a health warning. But I think I love it. No, I know I love it. What’s wrong with me?
What is disappointing is the fact that I hadn’t avoided going anywhere like this since the turn of the year. Last year (as you may have read) I didn’t go out at all. That had all changed this year but last night I gave a cameo of my old self. I regret it but I have to move on. It is now my responsibility to get something else organised.
I heard a very interesting preaching this morning. It talked about letting go of doubt and fears.
Last night I had doubts and fears. The worst part was that I knew all the people I was going with and I had just enjoyed their company a few days earlier. I’m disappointed in my actions but it serves as a reminder to how I was last year and most importantly how I don’t want to be again.
I’ve been looking upon this September as something to fear. Not knowing what courses to attend for the most part and having no idea where to go. While it is easy to panic, I must remember that I’ve never been more free in my life than I am now. No controlling friends, no school and no parental hassle. I have complained about my parents numerous times in this blog but when I look at the full picture they never get in the way. My mum always looks at the security side of a situation but always understands if I do something different. I don’t get hassled about working more hours, I don’t get hassled about college and I don’t get hassled about what time I turn up in the mornings. Since I turned 18 they have been less authority figures and have become more like two friends…which is awesome.
I’m prone to looking back at my life. Filled with nostalgia about summer days , filled with angst about school days. But as I heard the preacher say “But whatever it was, how ever long ago it was…..it’s over, it’s gone.”
Sometimes you need to hear those words in a different forum.
So I stayed in last night and watched the Amir Khan fight. I was impressed by both his in-ring abilities and how he presented himself outside the ring. At the end he paraded a Union Jack flag with London sprawled across the middle. This kid is a Muslim in the north of England ….he could do wonders for race relations. I’ve heard a lot of stupid and, quite frankly, racist comments regarding the Muslim faith since the bombings. I advise these people to read the Qur'an fully before lumping all Muslims in the same bracket as the lunatics who commit these acts.
Leeds United are on tour in Norway at moment. They’ve signed a couple of crap players and I’m not hopeful for the upcoming season. I can’t believe this is the same club that singed Rio Ferdinand, Robbie Fowler and Olly Dacourt just a few short years ago.
Football is a bastard. It is unforgiving, temperamental, disloyal, depressing, shady and should come with a health warning. But I think I love it. No, I know I love it. What’s wrong with me?
posted by A.Lee at 8:44 AM
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