Screaming inside

Lifeless
I don’t think another word in the English language sums up more how feel right now.
I was travelling down to town to go to college and I was praying that from somewhere I would get the confidence.
The confidence to speak my mind.
I remember in class a couple weeks ago there was big debate on Michael Jackson. The teacher asked if anyone really liked him. I didn’t confess my fondness of him.
I felt bad afterwards, like I had let him down almost.
I’d really let myself down. Let my spirit down. Something just held me back.
I wish I was sure of myself. I wish I knew who I really was.
It seems to change everyday.
One day I feel extroverted, the next I feel quiet, the next I feel like an entertainer, the next I feel like a recluse.
WHO AM I?
Maybe that’s why I have no confidence to speak my own opinions in front of people?
When will this weight be lifted?