The Emptiness strikes back

As promised yesterday.
Who was the girl with the crush on me?
I knew it would be someone who would cause embarrassment and I was right.
Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Nicole.
She’s 37!
She’s got two kids!
…and she’s still married!
So everyone revelled in this of course and I was made to look a like an insignificant shit.
I had to laugh really as I walked home. 24 hours previous I had expected life to throw this at me and here I was, 24 hours later….proved 100% fucking right.
Predictable life. No sorry that’s wrong. Predictable people more like.
Last year I would have gone in a fucking mood. I would have sit there at work and sulked. But that’s when I thought I was doing something wrong.
But now I know different. I know I’m being screwed by people. I’m going to live in a fucking hole when I grow older. Away from ego’s, away from the extroverts, away from the image conscious, away from everyone.
That’s how I really feel at this moment.
When I needed life to produce me a soul mate…It instead produced me a joke. It let the rumbles of hope shudder inside of me and then landed it’s big, cartoonish, comedic knock-out.
Here to make other people laugh at him.
Feel confused and lost and I don’t know what to do. Fuck it tho eh? Life will continue.