*Ignore*

It seems I will have to enrol at college a lot sooner than I first expected.
College uh?
It was interesting talking to Liam the other day, he had the mentality that this job is “a means to an end.” Which is true.
But he says he couldn’t do it without the everything else in his life. If he has a shit day at work at least he has Amy to go see.
I just hate the fact of finishing college on an evening and just coming home to watch TV.
I’d just like to know there was someone there, someone worth going through this shit for.
I don’t want to end up like numerous family members.
The ones with no family, no partner and no kids.
I don’t want that. Next year I want to see a bit of the world but I want someone to reference it with.
This year is amazing in so many ways. For years I’d been trapped.
Ben was a problem for so long but I finally got my independence. I lost a friend but it was more important to gain freedom. He had become an enemy disguised as a friend.
And it has all led up to this year. The year where I actually started going out. The year where I experienced the death of someone I knew. The year I actually made progress (however small) in a career.
Things are still on too smaller scale for me. This town is suffocating.
Ahead lies many a decision. Small ones like…should I change hairdressers? And big ones like….should I move out?
There’s so much to face and so much to embrace.
I’m floundering.
I have so many questions. Where are the friends? Where are the people I can call just to go out with on a whim? Where are they?
The summer is ending and the canvas is blank again. I am truly stepping into the unknown. I could deal with it better if I just had someone else along for the ride.
If only I could call _______ and go for a pint when I’m feeling stressed.
If only I could call _______ and go round her house.
Now, as it always has been, is the time for rhino skin and broad shoulders.
Yawn. Tired of my brain.