I did a woopsie

I don’t even feel like a real person.
Pride always comes before a fall. I got my A-level results and was very happy with outcome. My mate didn’t do too well and I got into a conversation with my mum. I went on and on about “how I was achieving what I wanted to achieve” and “I was making life my own”
Ha….you tosser.
No less than 4 hours later, Liam (problem resolved by the way) informs me an old mate is on myspace. Twas surprising as this guy usually thinks computers is just for nerds.
Well I was gob smacked at what I saw.
Loads of friends chatting to him. Him talking about all the marvellous stuff going on in his life. His fit girlfriend.
And I was sat here with an examination results paper.
I’m glad I did well but my life really is empty.
People just don’t like me. Fact.
OK that’s a bit strong. I don’t know….I just don’t feel like I fit in at all.

Happy days

It is results day next week. Cue dramatic music.
I’m not particularly ambitious but I want to have a career which gives me some freedom and interest. I’ll be very happy with that.
Next year I want to go to Uni. Today I’ve had this great feeling of what Uni will be like. I felt excited about the possibilities of where I would be living and the type of lifestyle I would be leading. Hopefully I’ve got a good enough grade that will allow me to pursue this lifestyle.
My mate from college wants to do the same course as me and whenever we talk about the possibilities of going to uni there is always some pessimism about if we are actually going to get there. The next year will be tough in a lot of ways. It will be tough but it will also be exciting as the countdown begins. The mate situation is limited but will do I suppose. I always manage to get a night out with someone each week, even if it is another trip into the city.
It’s quite difficult to meet single women aswell. At work it is nigh impossible to form a relationship with a gal without intense scrutiny from everyone else. The online dating thing isn’t going too well. I get messages from girls who I am not attracted to and then I send messages to girls I am attracted to but I don’t get a reply because they probably aren’t attracted to me. It is a depressing cycle. Quite comical though because one night I was becoming so frustrated at not getting e-mails back from girls I liked, I sent this really pathetic message in which I just said “please have sex with me” and I sent it to probably the most sexually alluring girl on there.
The situation with Liam has not been resolved yet. No replies still.

Might aswell face up

Back to work and happy to be in the swing of things really.
The friend situation reached its climax with me berating my parents for an hour.
After a couple of days though I kinda got it in my head that I just have to move on.
I’m worried about my friendship with Liam though. He never not replies to my texts, emails etc but I’ve not got a reply in nearly 4 weeks.
He’s on msn now and I haven’t had a reply back there either, although his status is set to away.
I’ve not wronged Liam.
Recently.
Him and Ben hated each other. Both would talk about each other to me and instead of me telling them to respect each of my friendships I would sometimes end up coerced into ripping on both of them.
It was a few years ago….but I’m worried he’s found out.
If he has then he’s probably right to cut connections with me. I’m prepared to move one. I won’t wrong a friend like that again.

It isn't that hard

I wish people would stop, when trying to address me, starting their sentences without a pleasantry.
I’m sick to death of text messages and msn chats which start with “Oi twat have you recovered from Saturday yet!”
I will simply not reply to people who don’t at least in some form, whether it be traditional or slang, start a conversation with hello.
Cunts.