Shit happens

Sometimes I feel like I’ve missed so much.
I miss not having friends L
How is it possible for a human being not to have a proper friend?
I’m sick of just the acquaintances.
I’ve been back at home because there is no room at Nina’s anymore.
But I’ve been feeling like this for a while. Well, at least the feeling has been growing.
Every night, when I do actually sleep, I dream. I dream of an old friend.
It’s not just an occasional thing…it is every time I sleep.
I’ve tried to make contact with people but they are not interested…they have new lives and new friends.
Nina is leaving in the summer for job purposes and we have decided to end things slowly.
I’m upset about it but that’s not the only heartbreak I feel right now.
I really feel like I’m dying.
Yes this is like a post from the old days isn’t it.

Wild wild west

Me and an acquaintance have been in very good relationships for a bit of time now and we decided to try and see if we were any better at pulling lasses.
I’m not.
It is still the thing I am at worst in the world.
I’m living at Nina’s for the moment…nothing permanent but its good to just be away for a while

My will is good

I’ve decided to stay at Nina’s place a few days.
Living at home was getting on my nerves.
Will write a proper entry about this tomorrow.

Food glorious food

I’m trying to eat more fruit.
My mum keeps telling me I need “5 pieces of fruit and veg a day” but I just find that an impossible amount.
Now if it was 5 pieces of chocolate…
The most I can manage is some veg with my tea and an apple and banana. By the time I get to the end of my banana I start to feel nauseous, it’s just too much.
My problem is that I can consume large amounts of chocolate without even blinking. I don’t know how I’m still as thin as a stick really.
But today I got up determined to stick to my fruit and veg diet. Fast forward to 3:30 and I had eaten a few jaffa cakes and a twix.
I don’t know how it happened but all I can remember is a blur of wrapping papers and feeling quite satisfied after the scoff. Then at tea time I found a full bag of mini-cream eggs. I say mini, but when you get 20 of them in a bag, it actually becomes HUGE. I ate all them and I still hadn’t had my fruit. I felt quite guilty because as I looked in the mirror I saw a cluster of spots on my neck. Now I know the experts say that a bad diet doesn’t reflect on your skin but I swear that my spots spelt out Nestle.
I don’t know what it is with food and me. On Wednesday I have a certain type of sandwich and I love this sandwich so much that I couldn’t sleep the night before because I was too excited about eating this sandwich.
And if there was one food I could eat all day that would be Italian…I love it so much. I don’t want to write anymore about it because I’ll start to get desperate for it now.

Expensive night

I’ve lost my phone.
I had bought a digital camera because I wanted to start getting pictures of all the nights out. I’m always seeing pictures of Dave on his nights out and I wanted to copy him (except for that picture of his hairy white leg).
So I have 4 pockets in my jeans. One on the left, one on the right…and two at the back. Usually my mobile is in the side pocket and my wallet is in the other side pocket. I also have ID in one of the back pockets.
I’m getting ID’d or ideed...I’m not sure how you spell that, both are getting the red squiggly lines underneath on Word. So I’m getting my date of birth checked a lot recently. I didn’t get asked for identification this much last year…what’s going on?
Now I had my digital camera and it is a bit of a fat bugger. So I had to put my mobile in my back pocket which I wasn’t comfortable with because I was sure when I sat down my arse would end up dialling 999. I don’t put my key pad lock on because when I drink I forget how to unlock it. But my mobile went in my back pocket regardless.
I went out and when I woke up next morning I had a hangover and no phone. I lost so many numbers that I won’t get back that it’s taken me days to get over it.
I looked at my digital camera to see what photo’s I had gotten and they were all terrible i.e not worth losing my phone over. One of the pictures was of Nina looking like she was about to attack me. Neither of us remember that but I did find a strange scratch on my face the next day.
What was more annoying was that everyone who found out I had lost my phone kept saying “that was an expensive night then.” My mum said it, my driving instructor said it and my tutor said it.
Now I have to get a new phone and that’s quite a daunting task for someone like me. I might just nick Nina’s and when people question me about the pink cover I will just tell them I’m colour blind.
I’ve honestly spent so much this month that I just can’t budget getting a phone at the moment. I nicked my dads last time and I’ve noticed over the last few days he’s been holding onto his current one with quite a strenuous grip.
Don’t worry Pa I’m not gonna nick your brick!
That’s another thing. When I first told Nina that my phone had been lost or stolen, I fully expected a caring hug, or at least…a blowjob. But she just said “It’s lost ‘cos no-one would steal that in a million years.”
Ok it wasn’t the most attractive phone but it had other qualities such as the keys being big enough to press at 3AM in the morning.
I’ve left a message on the phone so if anyone finds it they know the address to send it back to. I realised though, that if the phone was stolen, then I’ve given my home address to a thief. Nice.